Cognitive: Students will understand that everyone has skills and that people need to share their skills with others so that everyone can benefit. They will understand the skills involved in friendship. Affective: Students will want to learn and apply new skills, especially friendship skills. Behavioral: Students will define the most important friendship skills as those relating to being interested in others and as loyalty. They will apply these skills to make new friends and keep old ones.
Ask for a student volunteer to tell the story of “Suzy’s Skills.” Ask for other students to fill in any details or important points that might have been left out.
Ask students if they know what a skill is. Affirm that it is the ability to use knowledge or training to do something well. Point out that skills are valuable things to have. There are many kinds of skills—there are skills in sports, skills with machines, word skills, conversation skills, sewing skills—anything that a person can do well after gaining some knowledge and training is a skill.
Mention that Suzy has a lot of skills on the farm. Ask students to name some of the skills Suzy has that are suitable for farm life.
Dee has a lot of skills at school. Ask students to name some of the skills Dee has that are helpful for being at school.
Mention that people usually learn skills from one another. A person can learn a lot from a book or from a video, but usually a skill is best taught with the help of another person, who can demonstrate, correct, and encourage.
Express that different people have different skills, but that everyone has some that are worthwhile. For instance, Suzy’s farm skills may not have seemed very important in the new school setting, but Dee appreciated the fact that Suzy seemed to know that it was not going to rain. It is important to appreciate the different skills people have.
For example, one of your friends might be really good at serving a tennis ball. Another might be very good at returning balls in a volley. Each friend has skills. By learning from both of them, you can improve your skills in both areas they are good at. In the same way, your parents may be very skilled at the work they do, but when the sink pipes break, they need someone with plumbing skills to help them. Everyone has valuable skills to share with others.
Write on the board: “No one person is good at everything, but everyone is good at something!”
Do the Exercise with the students. Ask the students to think of a skill they are particularly good at. Have the students name their skills. If other students would like to learn the skills a person has, pair the students up and let them discuss the skill and practice it, if possible. Then switch pairs around so that every student has a chance to both learn and teach a skill to someone else.
Class Session 2
Remind students of the story “Suzy’s Skills.” Ask them if they think friendship is a skill. Affirm that it is, and mention that this is one of the questions in the Questions for Reflection they will do this class session.
Ask students if they like to have friends. Have them raise their hands if they do. At this age, they are very concerned with friends, so you will probably get a unanimous show of hands.
Explain that making friends is a skill, just like learning to dance, learning the computer, learning how to serve a tennis ball, or learning how to bounce a soccer ball on your head. That means that friendship takes some knowledge and training. Add that, of course, many people easily and naturally make friends with each other. Yet the people who have the most friends, the closest friends, and who keep their friends have some skills.
Ask: “What are some friendship skills?” Solicit students’ answers and hold a discussion about it. When students are finished contributing, emphasize the following two skills as being important in making, deepening, and keeping friendships. Explain that there are many other friendships skills, but that these two are particularly important.
The first is the skill of showing interest in the other person. Ask students if they enjoy talking with or hanging around with someone who only talks about him- or herself or always wants to do just what he or she wants to do. After a while, it gets very boring! Friends have to be interested in each other, not just in themselves. Friends have to be willing to let the other person talk or to have his or her way at times. Give an example: “Joey wants to go to the park together to play baseball. Fred likes soccer better than baseball, but Joey played soccer with him three times already this week. Fred decides that this time he will play baseball because Joey likes it so much.”
Showing interest in someone is a good way to make new friends as well as keep old ones. Showing interest in someone means approaching him or her and suggesting you two do something together. It may take a couple of times. Someone may have a good reason not to be able to be with you right away—they have piano practice, for instance. Don’t assume that means he or she doesn’t like you and you shouldn’t try again. Try once or twice more. If the person still excuses him- or herself every time, maybe he or she isn’t ready to be friends yet. Try someone else.
Ask students to think of ways to approach someone to show interest in being friends. List these ways on the board. Some examples might be, “Do you want to play together at recess?” or “Would you like to eat lunch together today?” or “Could you ask your mom if you could come over to my house to play one day this week?” or “Would you like to go to the movies with me?”
Explain that a second most important friendship skill is showing loyalty. Most people say that what they most like in a friend is loyalty. Ask students what loyalty is. Affirm that it is being true to someone. When a person’s friend needs them, they are there—at least most of the time. When a person’s friends are sad or happy, they share in that sadness or happiness sincerely. They are not secretly glad that their friend got in trouble or secretly sad or jealous that their friend got an award or prize. (Although some little feelings like these sometimes come up, a good friend can tell him- or herself to be loyal instead of feeling that way). When a person’s friend calls or visits, the person responds with kindness and friendliness and says he or she is happy the friend called or visited.
Loyalty also means that a person does not talk about people behind their backs. This does not mean just not talking about your friends behind their backs. If you talk about other people behind their backs, your friends will wonder how you talk about them behind their backs! Don’t talk behind the back—about your friends or anyone else. It takes away trust.
Loyalty means keeping your promises. If you say you will do something, you should do it. If you promised to help your friend study for a test, don’t back out at the last minute. If you promised to go to the party with your friend, don’t suddenly decide to go with another friend instead.
Affirm that it is wonderful to have friends. Exclaim that a person can’t have too many friends! It isn’t so hard to make friends once you understand that it means giving, not just taking, by being interested in the other person and being loyal to him or her in the ways you have discussed.
Conclude by writing on the board, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Explain that this was written by a famous author.
Ask the students to do the Questions for Reflection.
Lesson Objectives
Cognitive: Students will understand that everyone has skills and that people need to share their skills with others so that everyone can benefit. They will understand the skills involved in friendship.
Affective: Students will want to learn and apply new skills, especially friendship skills.
Behavioral: Students will define the most important friendship skills as those relating to being interested in others and as loyalty. They will apply these skills to make new friends and keep old ones.
Ask for a student volunteer to tell the story of “Suzy’s Skills.” Ask for other students to fill in any details or important points that might have been left out.
Ask students if they know what a skill is. Affirm that it is the ability to use knowledge or training to do something well. Point out that skills are valuable things to have. There are many kinds of skills—there are skills in sports, skills with machines, word skills, conversation skills, sewing skills—anything that a person can do well after gaining some knowledge and training is a skill.
Mention that people usually learn skills from one another. A person can learn a lot from a book or from a video, but usually a skill is best taught with the help of another person, who can demonstrate, correct, and encourage.
Express that different people have different skills, but that everyone has some that are worthwhile. For instance, Suzy’s farm skills may not have seemed very important in the new school setting, but Dee appreciated the fact that Suzy seemed to know that it was not going to rain. It is important to appreciate the different skills people have.
For example, one of your friends might be really good at serving a tennis ball. Another might be very good at returning balls in a volley. Each friend has skills. By learning from both of them, you can improve your skills in both areas they are good at. In the same way, your parents may be very skilled at the work they do, but when the sink pipes break, they need someone with plumbing skills to help them. Everyone has valuable skills to share with others.
Write on the board: “No one person is good at everything, but everyone is good at something!”
Do the Exercise with the students. Ask the students to think of a skill they are particularly good at. Have the students name their skills. If other students would like to learn the skills a person has, pair the students up and let them discuss the skill and practice it, if possible. Then switch pairs around so that every student has a chance to both learn and teach a skill to someone else.
Class Session 2
Remind students of the story “Suzy’s Skills.” Ask them if they think friendship is a skill. Affirm that it is, and mention that this is one of the questions in the Questions for Reflection they will do this class session.
Ask students if they like to have friends. Have them raise their hands if they do. At this age, they are very concerned with friends, so you will probably get a unanimous show of hands.
Explain that making friends is a skill, just like learning to dance, learning the computer, learning how to serve a tennis ball, or learning how to bounce a soccer ball on your head. That means that friendship takes some knowledge and training. Add that, of course, many people easily and naturally make friends with each other. Yet the people who have the most friends, the closest friends, and who keep their friends have some skills.
Ask: “What are some friendship skills?” Solicit students’ answers and hold a discussion about it. When students are finished contributing, emphasize the following two skills as being important in making, deepening, and keeping friendships. Explain that there are many other friendships skills, but that these two are particularly important.
The first is the skill of showing interest in the other person. Ask students if they enjoy talking with or hanging around with someone who only talks about him- or herself or always wants to do just what he or she wants to do. After a while, it gets very boring! Friends have to be interested in each other, not just in themselves. Friends have to be willing to let the other person talk or to have his or her way at times. Give an example: “Joey wants to go to the park together to play baseball. Fred likes soccer better than baseball, but Joey played soccer with him three times already this week. Fred decides that this time he will play baseball because Joey likes it so much.”
Showing interest in someone is a good way to make new friends as well as keep old ones. Showing interest in someone means approaching him or her and suggesting you two do something together. It may take a couple of times. Someone may have a good reason not to be able to be with you right away—they have piano practice, for instance. Don’t assume that means he or she doesn’t like you and you shouldn’t try again. Try once or twice more. If the person still excuses him- or herself every time, maybe he or she isn’t ready to be friends yet. Try someone else.
Ask students to think of ways to approach someone to show interest in being friends. List these ways on the board. Some examples might be, “Do you want to play together at recess?” or “Would you like to eat lunch together today?” or “Could you ask your mom if you could come over to my house to play one day this week?” or “Would you like to go to the movies with me?”
Explain that a second most important friendship skill is showing loyalty. Most people say that what they most like in a friend is loyalty. Ask students what loyalty is. Affirm that it is being true to someone. When a person’s friend needs them, they are there—at least most of the time. When a person’s friends are sad or happy, they share in that sadness or happiness sincerely. They are not secretly glad that their friend got in trouble or secretly sad or jealous that their friend got an award or prize. (Although some little feelings like these sometimes come up, a good friend can tell him- or herself to be loyal instead of feeling that way). When a person’s friend calls or visits, the person responds with kindness and friendliness and says he or she is happy the friend called or visited.
Loyalty also means that a person does not talk about people behind their backs. This does not mean just not talking about your friends behind their backs. If you talk about other people behind their backs, your friends will wonder how you talk about them behind their backs! Don’t talk behind the back—about your friends or anyone else. It takes away trust.
Loyalty means keeping your promises. If you say you will do something, you should do it. If you promised to help your friend study for a test, don’t back out at the last minute. If you promised to go to the party with your friend, don’t suddenly decide to go with another friend instead.
Affirm that it is wonderful to have friends. Exclaim that a person can’t have too many friends! It isn’t so hard to make friends once you understand that it means giving, not just taking, by being interested in the other person and being loyal to him or her in the ways you have discussed.
Conclude by writing on the board, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Explain that this was written by a famous author.
Ask the students to do the Questions for Reflection.